NFL Off-Season

No! I’m not going to play in their stupid Wildcat and they can’t make me! NO! NO! NO!

It’s official: Multiple media outlets(ESPN, NYT, etc.) AND my uncle Sully(season ticket holder) have now confirmed that the Jets & Broncos agreed to a deal sending Tim Tebow from Denver to the J…E…T…S…JETS-JETS-JETS!!!

In order to win the Super Bowl, the Broncos sacrificed a virgin.

(Source: siddman)

Cause you had a bad day
You’re taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don’t know
You tell me don’t lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don’t lie
You’re coming back down and you really don’t mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day…

winstonwolfe:

Peyton Manning to sign with Broncos. Denver will look to trade ~~Jesus Christ Superstar~~ Tim Tebow

Why, God?

WHY?
WHY?
WHY?

Things are getting pretty scary over on NFL.com.

How much longer until the draft?

One problem for the practiced man-eater: Tebow, more than paper thin, isn’t interested in becoming the next pro athlete reduced to trailing Kardashian around some Orange County Nordstrom, carrying her purse and wondering who shipped his spine to an unlisted P.O. Box in Minsk.

“

—

That’s an actual sentence from a story on the NFL.com iPad app, describing Kim Kardashian’s alleged crush on Tim Tebow. I have two follow up thoughts to add:

1. I will work to find out exactly who at NFL.com wrote it, so as to give them the proper credit.
2. I will forever refer to that writer as the greatest wordsmith of the 21st century.

(post edit: h/t & a thank you to loyal reader “popeyeschicken1” for passing along that the author of the NFL.com article referenced above is Mark Sessler.)

Bill Belichick congratulates Tebow after AFC Divisional Playoff »

Good job by CBS catching this. Typical Belichick, showing very little compassion.

“Tom, my NFL consigliere, what brings you here today?”

“Forgive me Father, but I have a delicate issue to discuss with you. This QB from Denver. I think it’s time I taught him a lesson and sent him home for the offseason. I thought I did it once, but he has returned. This time in my own home. This is unforgivable to me.”

“You are right. You dealt with him once, spared him his NFL life, & now he returns, seeking revenge? It is time for this QB to be taught a lesson. Go out this week & silence him once & for all.”

“Thank you, Father. I knew you’d understand.”

“Of course. And remember: Leave the gun, but take the cannoli.”