At the 20th spot, the Chicago Bears have selected Guard Kyle Long (son of Howie, brother of Chris) to give their QB Jay Cutler more than 1.5 seconds to throw the ball.
It’s not the most solid of picks, but the Bears do need help there, especially if they want Cutler to make it all 18 games of the season, and possibly, further.
Bears fans, meet your Brian Urlacher replacement, D.J. Williams.
Remember when Mike Ditka recorded a followup to the Super Bowl Shuffle, without any of the Bears? We didn’t either, but here’s The Grabowski Shuffle anyway. Written by the same team that made the original Super Bowl Shuffle, this video features “Grabowskis,” which is what Mike Ditka called hard-working players, and these were their working-class Chicago equivalents. Near the end of the video, Ditka expresses his hope that there could be Grabowski fan clubs in every city, as well as a national convention. He also probably hoped the Bears would go to more than one Super Bowl.
The video was shot at the old Ditka’s restaurant/City Lights dance club. Ditka claims that whenever you came into City Lights, you’d hear The Grabowski Shuffle, which explains why that nightclub has been closed for years. It also stars the Iron Mike Dancers and the Electric Pipe Band, who may have been rivals to Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem. I don’t think Bill Parcells ever had Big Tuna Dancers, or if he did, they performed only in the privacy of his home. This confluence of all things Ditka never resonated with the American public, but it did give superfan Bill Swerski his very first heart attack. Da Bears!
“Heard some talk out of the Bears: Packers secondary not working coverage, bigger receivers … we heard about it. We understand that Jay is excited about his new weapons, but it’s the same-old Jay. We don’t need luck; Jay will throw us the ball.” — Charles Woodson
Hey look, Clay Matthews is still playing football. I thought he only did commercials these days. Nope, tonight he’s back making plays. In half a game of play he has one solo tackle, 1.5 sacks, 2 quarterback hits and is responsible for multiple Jay Cutler contusions.
In other strange news, the only tochdown pass this evening has been thrown by Green Bay’s holder.
“Please, please, please let’s tone it down a little bit when we’re down in the 20 you’re more than welcome to yell and scream and do whatever you want to do after we score, but please, let’s go ahead and quiet the stadium down and save it for after we score. Thank you. That’s my PSA.”
- Jay Cutler
You hear that Chi-Town? Cutler wants you to control the volume of your voice!